Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing to the scene.

You have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper.

Your firehouse has wheels.

Some of your firefighters respond in horse and buggies.

You've ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse.

Fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire getting drunk.

You've ever been toned out on an outhouse fire.
That outhouse fire was with entrapment.

You've ever let a person's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their land.

Your personal vehicle has more blue lights on it than your house has in it.

You've ever walked through a Christmas display and came up with more than one new ideas for a light scheme for your truck.

Your rescue truck can smoke the tires.

Your department's name is misspelled on the equipment.

Dispatch can't mention your companies name with out laughing.

The local news crew won't put your department on TV because you embarrassed them last time.

You've ever referred to a light bar as sweet.

Your defibrillator consists of a pair of jumper cables, a marine battery and a fish finder.

You've ever taken a girl on a date in a pumper.

Your pumper has been on fire more times than it has been to a fire.

Your pumper smokes more than the house fire.

You've ever been arrested for indecent exposure at a house fire.

The primary color of your company engines is "bondo".

Your new $500,000.00 ladder truck was custom ordered with a spit cup holder.

The Chief's car has a rag for a gas cap.

If your apparatus has NASCAR driver numbers on them.

Some of your 5" hard hose was converted into a fly fishing rod holder.

Before your apparatus leaves the station on a call, the senior officer says, "Gentlemen, start your engines.

The Assistant Chief's hunting dogs cost more than all the apparatus combined.

Fire fighters punishment consist of taking away their chewing tobacco.

Your apparatus has carbon monoxide detectors mounted INSIDE the cab.

You return from a fire with more junk than you responded with.

Your job shirts are "3X-Large" but should be "5X-Large".

You can name all of the stars from the "Dukes of Hazard", but can't remember your LT's name.

You have french fries between the seats of your engine.

Your fire truck's doors are all welded shut.

Your fire truck's are ensured by Smith & Wesson.

Your station's TV gets over 300 channels but you have to go outside to pee.

Your turnout gear is camouflaged.